What are the reasons for divorce

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Answered by: ellen, An Expert in the Coping with Divorce Category
When I got married decades ago, I never thought I would be one of those whom would eventually get divorced. It was not anyone's fault, we were just two people who really had very little in common. Sure, we were physically compatible, but good sex does not sustain a marriage. We had two children together, but also children are not enough to keep a marriage together, if there is a basic distrust and anger towards each other. So what are the reasons for divorce? To be fair, I had no reference point to go by, as to what a loving marriage should be. My parents were always at each others throats, but stayed together for the sake of the kids. And in hindsight, they weren't doing their children any favors. My opinion today is that it is better for the children to have two parents living apart, then to have the insanity of them living together, when they simply do not get along. The phrase til death do we part, rarely applies these, with the divorce rate over fifty percent of couples married.

People get married for a variety of reasons, and the same can be said or the reasons they divorce. If you would ask divorced couples why they divorced, you might hear, things like, I no longer loved him, he was cheating on me, he no longer treated me with respect, and other words in the same arena. Just because you get divorced, does not mean that there isn't another person out there that you can make a marriage work with. Being gun shy is a common reason that women especially after divorce, do not attempt to find another spouse. It is worse if they have children, because they are reluctant to expose their children to another male figure, who their children might confuse as their new father.The divorce rate is high across the decades of the people getting married. It is very easy to get divorced, a minimum of paperwork for uncontested unions. People who get divorced will often rather live with someone then put themselves through another marriage situation. Divorce has become an industry, Divorce mediation, social workers trying to make the divorce process easier for booth sides to handle. The impact of divorce on the children, who are often left scarred by the divorce experience, and subsequently need therapy to handle their feelings. Children of divorce are more likely to act out with substance abuse and behavioral issues.

All problems resulting from divorce can be managed, with the right attitude, and the intervention of available professional support. Talking about a problem, while not eliminating it, often softens the blow to the person experiencing it. A first step in managing divorce issues, is to air it out to the parties involved, and not be afraid to talk about it. Children will internalize that the divorce is somehow their fault. It is the responsibility of the parents to convince the children that divorce is an adult issue, and that there was nothing they did to cause it, or to prevent it.

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