What are Some Tips for Boomers Dating After Divorce?

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Answered by: Eileen, An Expert in the Dating After Divorce Category
3 Tips for Boomers Dating Post-Divorce

By Eileen Spatz

The dust has finally settled post-divorce. With that newfound peace comes the first signs of loneliness, of a new life sans partner. The idea of dating after so many years out of the dating scene is terrifying to those singles of a certain age. With prior dating most likely taking place during the Ronald Reagan presidency, the thought of even attempting to date may feel like entering a time machine. A 20 something going in and a 50 something coming out.

How does someone from the baby boomer generation even begin to date after so many years lived as someone's spouse? Truth is, the whole dating landscape has dramatically changed in the ensuing decades—unrecognizable to how a boomer recalls their dating experience from years past. All sorts of new dating etiquette now exists, as well as the absolute absence of any etiquette at all. Boomers dating after divorce may experience anxiety initially when they discover that dating has morphed into a callous, calculated, and cold exchange between strangers, in most cases.

To gently ease the newly single boomer into the land of 21st century dating and relating, here are some helpful tips:

1. Give online dating a try. Yes, online dating is, in a word, horrible, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? But do develop a thick skin because online dating can be brutal. You may put your heart into it, crafting a sweet profile with smiling photos and an upbeat message, only to be ignored by those you reach out to, or suddenly dismissed by someone you have spent the better part of two weeks communicating with. You may meet a person to find that they do not even remotely resemble their photos, or have some strange facial tick or zero personality. Worse yet, you may go on a few enjoyable dates with a good match, only to be ghosted with no explanation. (The term "ghosted" refers to the sudden and unexplained disappearance of said "good match"). So, if you have taken off your rose-colored glasses and are ready to meet the challenges of online dating, go ahead and start your search with a realistic attitude.

2. Try meet-ups. Meetup.com is a popular resource for newly single baby boomers who just want to get out and mingle in a safe, casual setting. When you create a profile on meetup.com you can select any and all hobbies and interests that appeal to you. Within moments your email inbox will fill with tons of invitations to join various groups for hiking, stand-up paddle boarding, wine-tasting, dancing, investment group meetings, sailing, photography groups, travel clubs, and the list goes on and on. If you have a long-forgotten passion or hobby, join a group that specializes in it and rekindle that passion. The majority of people who join meetup groups are singles, and there are many groups that cater to boomers and seniors, so go sign up and have some fun while meeting new people who have shared interests.

3. Get a dog. Hey, it gets lonely rattling around an empty house post-divorce, so why not visit a shelter and adopt an awesome dog? There is ample scientific evidence that being a dog owner has umpteen health benefits, promoting both physical and mental wellbeing. Let's face it, life after divorce can be stressful, even depressing. Owning a dog demands that you get outside of your own misery and take care of its needs. The dog will return the attention with unconditional love, and become an intrinsic part of your household. Because you have a dog, you will need to walk it on a daily basis. Why not choose walking venues where you might just meet someone. Walking with a cute dog is always attention-grabbing. If you amble around a marina, a pier, a beach trail, or well-trodden hiking trails you may just meet another dog walker and strike up a conversation.

There really is life after divorce, and it can be even better than your married years if you approach this new chapter with the right attitude. Boomers dating after divorce should make some new goals, set a high standard for their future partner, and go for it! A fresh, new relationship awaits.

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